{"id":468,"date":"2010-11-02T20:07:40","date_gmt":"2010-11-02T20:07:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jacophoto.wordpress.com\/?p=468"},"modified":"2010-11-02T20:07:40","modified_gmt":"2010-11-02T20:07:40","slug":"gedanken-von-gleichaltrigen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/david-jacob.de\/blog\/2010\/11\/gedanken-von-gleichaltrigen\/","title":{"rendered":"Gedanken von Gleichaltrigen"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ich hab hier mal was schickes. Eine Liste mit bunt durchgew\u00fcrfelten Gedanken von Jugendlichen unseres Alters. Ich muss gestehen ich bin schockiert wie haargenau einige dieser Sachen auf mich zutreffen, von denen ich im Leben nicht gedacht h\u00e4tte, dass sie jemand genauso sieht. Wie auch immer, nehmt euch ruhig mal die 5 Minuten, es ist recht am\u00fcsant. Solange ihr nicht die Burger King Verk\u00e4uferin von heute Mittag seit, versteht ihr den Gro\u00dfteil hier auch ohne Probleme. (Wie kann man auch aus der Bestellung “Cheeseburger without pickles.”, “Sie fragt ob sie den Burger auch ohne Ketchup haben kann?!” machen. Fachkr\u00e4ftemangel \ud83d\ude09 )<\/p>\n

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    \n
  1. -I wish Google Maps had an \u201cAvoid Ghetto\u201d routing option.<\/li>\n
  2. –<\/strong>More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can\u2019t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that\u2019s not only better, but also more directly involves me.<\/em><\/li>\n
  3. -Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you\u2019re wrong.<\/li>\n
  4. –<\/strong>I don\u2019t understand the purpose of the line, \u201cI don\u2019t need to drink to have fun.\u201d Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they\u2019ve invented the lighter?<\/em><\/li>\n
  5. –<\/strong>Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you\u2019re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you\u2019re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.<\/em><\/li>\n
  6. -That\u2019s enough, Nickelback.<\/li>\n
  7. -I totally take back all those times I didn\u2019t want to nap when I was younger.<\/li>\n
  8. -Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the \u201cpeople you may know\u201d feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?<\/li>\n
  9. -Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn\u2019t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ\u2019s. We just figured it out. Today\u2019s kids are soft.<\/li>\n
  10. -There is a great need for sarcasm font.<\/li>\n
  11. -Sometimes, I\u2019ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.<\/li>\n
  12. –<\/strong>I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I\u2019ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone\u2019s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I\u2019m still the only one who really, really gets it. (I felt this way with Ghostbusters 2 recently).<\/li>\n
  13. -How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?<\/li>\n
  14. -I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.<\/li>\n
  15. – I think part of a best friend\u2019s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.<\/li>\n
  16. -The only time I look forward to a red light is when I\u2019m trying to finish a text.<\/li>\n
  17. – A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.<\/li>\n
  18. – Was learning cursive really necessary?<\/li>\n
  19. – Lol has gone from meaning, \u201claugh out loud\u201d to \u201cI have nothing else to say\u201d.<\/li>\n
  20. – I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.<\/em><\/li>\n
  21. – Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.<\/li>\n
  22. – My brother\u2019s Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, \u201cCuz we beat you, and you hate us.\u201d Classy, bro.<\/li>\n
  23. – Whenever someone says \u201cI\u2019m not book smart, but I\u2019m street smart\u201d, all I hear is \u201cI\u2019m not real smart, but I\u2019m imaginary smart\u201d.<\/em><\/li>\n
  24. – <\/strong>How many times is it appropriate to say \u201cWhat?\u201d before you just nod and smile because you still didn\u2019t hear what they said?<\/em><\/li>\n
  25. – I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!<\/li>\n
  26. – Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using \u2018as in\u2019 examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss\u2019s last name to an attorney and said \u201cYes that\u2019s G as in\u2026(10 second lapse)..ummm\u2026Goonies\u201d<\/li>\n
  27. -What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?<\/li>\n
  28. – While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it\u2026thanks Mario Kart.<\/li>\n
  29. – MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.<\/li>\n
  30. – Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.<\/li>\n
  31. – I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.<\/li>\n
  32. -Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. <\/em><\/li>\n
  33. – I would like to officially coin the phrase \u2018catching the swine flu\u2019 to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: \u201cDave caught the swine flu last night.\u201d<\/li>\n
  34. –I can\u2019t remember the last time I wasn\u2019t at least kind of tired.<\/em><\/li>\n
  35. – <\/strong>Bad decisions make good stories<\/em><\/li>\n
  36. -Whenever I\u2019m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don\u2019t mind if I do!<\/li>\n
  37. – Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?<\/li>\n
  38. -If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.<\/li>\n
  39. –<\/strong>Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I\u2019m from, this shouldn\u2019t be a problem\u2026.<\/em><\/li>\n
  40. –<\/strong>You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you\u2019ve made up your mind that you just aren\u2019t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.<\/em><\/li>\n
  41. -Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don\u2019t want to have to restart my collection.<\/li>\n
  42. -There\u2019s no worse feeling than that millisecond you\u2019re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.<\/li>\n
  43. –I\u2019m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.<\/em><\/li>\n
  44. – \u201cDo not machine wash or tumble dry\u201d means I will never wash this ever.<\/li>\n
  45. -I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There\u2019s so much pressure. \u2018I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren\u2019t watching this. It\u2019s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?\u2019<\/li>\n
  46. -I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What\u2019d you do after I didn\u2019t answer? Drop the phone and run away?<\/li>\n
  47. – <\/strong>I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.<\/em><\/li>\n
  48. -When I meet a new girl, I\u2019m terrified of mentioning something she hasn\u2019t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.<\/li>\n
  49. -I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it\u2019s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.<\/li>\n
  50. -Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles\u2026<\/li>\n
  51. – As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.<\/em><\/li>\n
  52. -Sometimes I\u2019ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.<\/li>\n
  53. -It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.<\/li>\n
  54. –<\/strong>I keep some people\u2019s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.<\/li>\n
  55. -Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn\u2019t know what do to with it.<\/li>\n
  56. -Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey \u2013 but I\u2019d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time\u2026<\/li>\n
  57. -My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day \u201cDad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?\u201d How the hell do I respond to that?<\/li>\n
  58. -It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.<\/li>\n
  59. -I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.<\/li>\n
  60. -I think the freezer deserves a light as well.<\/li>\n
  61. -I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.<\/li>\n
  62. -The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There\u2019s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Ich hab hier mal was schickes. Eine Liste mit bunt durchgew\u00fcrfelten Gedanken von Jugendlichen unseres Alters. Ich muss gestehen ich bin schockiert wie haargenau einige dieser Sachen auf mich zutreffen, von denen ich im Leben nicht gedacht h\u00e4tte, dass sie jemand genauso sieht. Wie auch immer, nehmt euch ruhig mal die 5 Minuten, es ist… Continue reading Gedanken von Gleichaltrigen<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/david-jacob.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/468"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/david-jacob.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/david-jacob.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/david-jacob.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/david-jacob.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=468"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/david-jacob.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/468\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/david-jacob.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=468"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/david-jacob.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=468"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/david-jacob.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=468"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}